Jokes Jokes.....

Q: What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?
A: The position of the dirt bag.

Mrs. Meyers said to little Rick, "Son, have you given your goldfish fresh water?"
"No," Rick said. "They didn't drink the water I gave them last week.”

The class discussion centered on the university's coed dorms. While the professor said this co-habitation of men and women reflected the newer generation's relaxed ethical standards, many students disagreed. Finally one student asked, "You mean you never walked into a woman's dorm after hours when you were in college?
"Never," the teacher replied firmly. "I had to climb in through the window."

A little girl asked her father, "Daddy? Do all fairy tales begin with 'Once Upon A Time'?”
He replied, "No, there is a whole series of fairy tales that begin with 'If elected I promise'."

Q. What do you get when you cross a pit bull with a collie?
A. A dog that runs for help ... after it bites your leg off.

How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say "f@#*?”
Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell "BINGO!”

What do you call a hand-cuffed man?
Trustworthy.

How do you get a man to stop biting his nails?
Make him wear shoes.

Q. What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
A. Anyone can roast beef.