Shahram writes:

Dear Sex Sultan, I have been married to my Iranian wife for a couple of years now and our sex life is only so-so. I thought that by now, she would have become more adventurous in bed however she is not, and I am afraid to bring it up because it might embarrass her. Before her, I used to go out with numerous American girls and it was so much easier because I could readily tell them what I like and they were more often than not open to new possibilities. Although I love my wife and would never think of leaving her, I am starting to think I have no other choice but to look elsewhere for sexual fulfillment! Help?

Sex Sultan writes:

You have been married for a couple of years but you still haven’t got the guts to talk about sex with your wife? Man, I detect some serious lack of communication here. How do you know wifey is not up for some sexual high jinks? Maybe it’s you who has got all the hang-ups! A common problem for Iranian men is that they tend to think of women in two separate and exclusive groups: The Madonna and the Whore. (If you don’t know what I am talking about, just take a look at the films of Fellini!). Just because you love and respect your wife doesn’t mean you can’t do the nasty with her. And going astray is certainly not going to improve things in the sack, it is just going to worsen them!
A good way to start off on the route to sexual freedom is to act as the giver not the receiver. That is, why don’t you take the initiative and be the one to give your wife some previously unknown pleasure. If she is into it, she may well be grateful enough to reciprocate! Some videos may also get you two lovebirds in the mood and give you some ideas. I am not talking about the hardcore tapes you got as a kid of course! There are many sex videos out there focusing on the erotic rather than the mechanics, and they are geared specifically towards couples. Some aphrodisiacs like a good Chilean wine, and sensual in-the-mood music (Think Chris Isaak, not Marvin Gaye) may help you both relax and release your inhibitions as well. (Please don’t misunderstand me, I am not telling you to ply her with liquor until she passes out!)

Once you get the ball rolling, so to speak, there are no limits to the journey you two can take! Good luck!

In need of sexual healing?
Ask the Sex Sultan at sultan@salamworldwide.com